


He Annoys You to Death, and You Love It

by Griffy_did_a_thing



Category: SpongeBob SquarePants (Cartoon)
Genre: I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I Don't Even Know, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Internal Monologue, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, No Plot/Plotless, Oops, Out of Character, This Is STUPID, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, What Have I Done, Why Did I Write This?, like super out of character, this is shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-21
Updated: 2019-11-21
Packaged: 2021-02-25 02:13:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21509785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Griffy_did_a_thing/pseuds/Griffy_did_a_thing
Summary: This is so horrible, I genuinely hate myself for writing this.
Relationships: Eugene Krabs/Squidward Tentacles, SpongeBob SquarePants/Squidward Tentacles
Comments: 2
Kudos: 27





	He Annoys You to Death, and You Love It

Spongebob was in the back, cookin' patties as always. His high pitched voice resonating throughout the entire back of the Krusty Krab in loud hums. The yellow boy was, blissfully, unaware of the effect his happy humming was having on Squidward. Ol' Squidward was so close to snapping the squishy male who was making too much noise, far too closely. 

Not because he was necessarily annoyed. Well, he was, but that's a feeling he can deal with easily. It was the simple fact of attraction. 

The 'theory' of opposites attraction to be more specific.

The smell of cooking meat in the background? Only drew him in more.

That smell reminded him of Spongebob. Of soft body, of soft face, presumably soft lips, presumably soft d-... 

'Woah, woah, woah, there Squidward! Not this again! Stop with these... disgusting fantasies!' He told himself. 'He's a guy, you're a guy! He's a sponge, you're a squid! He annoys you to death, and you-!'

He paused, the reek of defeat washing over him.

"You... you _love_ it..." He mumbled to himself, for once glad of the hustle and bustle of the restaurant.

He leaned on his arm, watching people eating and leaving the Krusty Krab.

'Today,' he declared in his head, 'today, I'll finally tell him!' 

A determined look spread over his face, and for once... for once he had a _true_ goal in mind.

With an emotion almost akin to excitement, he darted his eyes to check the clock. 

''Fucking Tuesday's...'' he grumbled as he attempted to figure out how long it would be until 8. 

'Of all days, why did Tuesday have to come the day he's ready to confess to Spongebob...!' His tentacles squirmed in place, unable to keep still through the anxiety coursing through his cold veins.

"Ahem!" An annoyed customer 'said' to try and get the squid to tune back in to the real world. It worked and Squidward focused his gaze onto the consumer.

"Welcome to the Krusty Kra..."

Throughout the whole day, Squidward continued to daze off and stare into what looked like nothing to everyone else. To him, on the other hand, he was looking at a rough idea of how his confession could go. He was imagining both the worst and best possibilities - but more so the worst ones. All day, people had to do different things to bring his attention to them.

As the night was winding down and slowly coming to a close, the bouts of daydreaming and anticipation would become worse and worse.

In walks a group of three fish, none of which Squidward know. It takes about a minute for one of them to manage getting the squid to acknowledge their presence. Every second of waving, finger snapping and whistling do nothing. 

Finally, the guy who seems to be the leader of the little trio, slaps the blue male across the face. 

That seems to be the trick, because Squidward is immediately snapped out of his stupor with a sharp yelp.

"Oh good, its alive! Ey suga, three krabby patties and make it snappy!" The leader snaps his finger, as if to emphasis his point - but Squidward can't move. He's frozen, backed away in the back corner of his faux boat. He can't believe what just happened. 

He's been hit. 

"Oh, and it _better_ be free." The man growls out, staring daggers at the squid.

Suddenly, there's a slamming coming from Squidward's right. 

Mr. Krabs is rushing towards the small gathering as fast as his stubby legs will let him.  
as he growls  
Even though he's out of breath, the second he reaches the cash register he huffs, "did... Someone say they... wanted something for..." His voice quickly becomes terrifying as he growls out, **_''free...?"_**

The man immediately shapes up, his features taking on a scared look and his voiced small and shaky. "N-no, sir-r... In-n fact! We-we were jus-st leaving! Eheheh, right guys!" he desperately looks to his friends, who are already shaking their heads in agreement, expressions matching his own.

"Then get out..." Mr. Krabs continues to speak with a dark voice and keeps his eyes on the trio as they all quickly run out the door. Once they're gone, Eugene takes on a softer, kinder tone and his expression is no longer as deadly. "You alright, Squidward?" He asks with a gentle smile, one of his claws reaching out to his employee. 

The squid quickly nods and eagerly takes the others hand. His heartbeat sped up, in a way much different from the way Spongebob makes it thud, but oh so delicious similar to it too.

"Y-yes... I'm alright. Thank you... Mr. Krabs." He whispers softly, feeling the eyes of the remaining customers and, probably, Spongebob too.

Mr. Krabs' grin gets slightly wider. "Eugene." He chirps as he pulls up the thinner sea creature. 

Squidward looks confused before realizing what permission he's just been given. "Eugene." He says, trying the word out on his tongue and liking how it feels.


End file.
